Forum:Dead Space: Empty Dreams, what do you think?
Preface Hello everyone! Now, I'm sure everyone is stewing over not knowing anything about Dead Space 2 now, so I, in a flash of brilliance, decided to write a novel to conect the games. I will post two chapters every week or so, and I would like it if people could coment on the novel, and if they're good, I will post the idea to Viseral, and get the novel a canical piece of Dead Space. Please leave your comments under all the writing far enough so more chapters can be added. Please leave any questions on my talk page. Enjoy! Tazio1 05:22, October 8, 2009 (UTC) Comments its been awhile wheres the rest of the story :( In real world context, individuals don't usually use profanity. So, as of now, Isaac looks quite clichéd like those "Space-Marines-are-Mankind's-only-hope". Also, keep in mind that he is only an Engineer and I doubt he has the spirit to continue the fight against the Necromorphs. Treat him like your everyday person. Additionally, there are several grammatical errors. I suggest using Microsoft Word to spellcheck the whole story. Oh, try to adopt Dead Space's eerie and mysterious atmosphere. You seemed to adopt the "Girlfriend-Gone-And-Now-It's-Payback-Time!" atmosphere which is tad boring, no offense. Other than that, the story is ok. :) - 5əb'7aŋk(7alk) 20:37, October 8, 2009 (UTC) First off, I'd like to express my gratitude for your generocity in itself. I feel that if enough people get into this, it could really populate this place and attract alot more regulars. Secondly, there's not much more I can add for feedback - Subtank covered it pretty well. It seems like you have a pretty good grasp on the story, but I think it would do justice to the novel itself if you kept in mind the environment and went over certain parts of the story while you're writing about a topic which ties into the franchise proper. I'm sure that you have a good grasp over your own work and have a very well though out plan for the story, but these minute details could and probably would make the difference of whether or not it gets published. I enjoyed it thus far, nonetheless. I look forward to your next installment :) --LBCCCP 02:06, October 9, 2009 (UTC) Thanks for the talkback. Now, I realise that the Isaac Clarke character is your everyday person, but I don't have much to go on for character, but I will edit the book to make him a hell of a lot more relatable, and I will work on his attitude as well. As for the mystery of the book, it's just the start and a direct sequel to the game, so I'm setting the pace and explaining what went down on the Ishumura, but will become starnger more in, but that can't be helped for now. Thanks for the good talkback, and with it I will make a killer book worthy for Dead Space! Tazio1 05:04, October 9, 2009 (UTC) Do you plan too, through the medium of the novel, add your own elements to the franchise?DeadSpaceFella 19:45, October 10, 2009 (UTC) Yes, hopefully through the novel, I plan to wadd new characters, new eapons and new story ideas for the series. Tazio1 01:06, October 11, 2009 (UTC) Sounds an interesting concept. Just to let you know , that you have my full support and if you are lacking inspiration and need some new ideas, just let me know.By the way Great work so far , keep it up!DeadSpaceFella 15:39, October 11, 2009 (UTC) Very interesting, you give a nice twist of plot in the story, combining both dead space and dead space extraction characters, but the atmosphere and status of the place is unclear. In other words readers need to know their surroundings. If you improve that then this will be a much better novel. P.S. Love your novel P.S.S. for dead space fans, don't worry about Nathan's arm since the 26th century grow arms and legs. :):):) --Magistret 13:57, October 12, 2009 (UTC)Magistret I've only read 3 and 4 since your second update, but I've got a couple comments just regarding those two. - Mercer probably wouldn't have been able to send any Necromorphs into space via pods as Terrence Kyne launched at least a vast majority of shuttles and pods prior to the events of Dead Space in an effort to keep the Necromorph corruption from spreading. Thus, while still possible that their could have been one or two from the Ishimura, seven is unlikely. - Keep in mind Isaac's own mentality. He's most likely been severely damaged psychologically from exposure time. It's probable that he would persist to have hallucination while awake as well as other strange exhibitions of character. Those aside, I'm enjoying it thus far. --LBCCCP 18:18, October 12, 2009 (UTC) Hey guys, Now I would like to point out that Dr. Kyne never spesifically says or implys he fired all the shuttles. For all we know, Mercer could have fired them.Where is it mentioned Kyne did it? Also I couldn't really think of another way to send the Necromorphs away from the Ishumura. But there are plot holes all over the series, so bear with me. Thanks, And keep giving me thoughts on the book. Tazio1 06:00, October 13, 2009 (UTC) On second examination; no, it never does say that Kyne launched the pods as part of his sabotage. In fact, Kyne was on the bridge when they were launched. So, yeah it is entirely possible that it was Mercer. Whether or not he had obtained Necromorph specimens that point is unknown, so speculation is open. Your novel aside, I would hope that for DS2 Visceral doesn't go with the whole escpae pod thing as a reason for a colony or something to become affected as the priamry basis of the story because it's already been used with the whole Valor situation. That would just be stale thinking on their part. I'm sure they've already got something that will blow us away, though, as It might even be in production right now. Personally, I can't get enough of the story itself and especially with those hints about the Mausoleum ships that Unitology is apparently funding. Just a hunch, but I'll bet that that won't be the only reference to those. --LBCCCP 20:05, October 13, 2009 (UTC) Thanks for returning the talk, and also, know that the mauseleum may make an appearance in the novel as a crusial part of the story. Tazio1 20:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC) :I've taken the liberty of introducing a special format and sections for visitors/readers to navigate easily between chapters for your story. Remember to leave out an empty space for each paragraph (if you intend to make one) as MediaWiki does not recognise two paragraphs close to each other and will treat it as one paragraph. Keep up the interesting story. :) - 5əb'7aŋk(7alk) 11:49, October 15, 2009 (UTC) I enjoyed Chapters 5 and 6. The story is really starting to pick up - good work! :) --LBCCCP 21:49, October 15, 2009 (UTC) Well, thanks Subtank, that helped me a lot, and I will get Part two up fully after some revisions. Keep reviewing it everyone! Tazio1 06:03, October 16, 2009 (UTC) I understand that you just uploaded them, but could you please reformat chapters 11 and 12? They're a little difficult to read this way. Dankie weer. --LBCCCP 01:37, October 17, 2009 (UTC) Powerful! I like your new chapter 11 and 12. You've given them an amazing improvement to the story line. Isaac's emotions are intensified. You can feel as if your Isaac and the widely known bloodstains are so awesome. This is what I call an intense atmosphere where you can fell the stress from each of the character. And also a slight stagnant a humor makes it an almost perfect novel. Thu THUMBS up!!. ;) P.S. There still more room for improvement though Amazingly powerful story telling which flows effortlessly. I wish i could writing like this.... great job Tazio1!DeadSpaceFella 10:11, October 20, 2009 (UTC) I just read the first part of youe fic....and i love it. The interaction between Dead Space and Dead Space: Extraction was very well done, and you gave Isaac a good personailty. Gorvar 02:34, December 4, 2009 (UTC) Allright just read the whole thing....i love it. Though i think your victims were not really necesary, just maybe one of them, but the couple was a bit over-kill. But i love the rest, including Isaac's role to leader.Gorvar 02:55, December 4, 2009 (UTC) Nicole is Sarah Kerrigan in Dead Space. Awesome chapters there man, i really liked the interactions between the extraction group and Isaac, they all share the same bacground in fighting the Necro's. Awesome cmaeo of the Grabber by the way, those guys are very hard to kill in-game. As for the twinkle twinkle little star tune....EA should hire you, it's really good. Gorvar 11:58, April 11, 2010 (UTC) Disturbing! AWESOME job with the dream/hallucination sequences! my improvements? keep Isaac as the average joe. he knows better than to "get revenge", all he wants to do is survive. Great characters, great plot, very creepy and disturbing. love it! DisMEMBAH 16:46, April 13, 2010 (UTC) Love this! AH! This awesome! Brilliant atmosphere and humor reliefes. I think you gave Isaac a great personality and made him take the role of leader. ("Christ, I'm just an Engineer!") LOL! But I don't think it should end like that. Maybe you should write something about what happens next. What does Nicole do? Will Isaac accept the fact that Nicole is actually there and still loves him, even though she is a speical necromorph? But other than that, it is a brilliant piece of work!!! Ah hell, Dead Space 2 Script, RIGHT THERE!!!! :-DDS2117 23:52, November 23, 2010 (UTC) If this is supposed to take place between the events of Dead Space and Dead Space 2, then why are they on The Spraw? That is in Dead Space 2. If Dead Space 2 is like the first one Isaac will be alone during the story not with other survivers.